9 posts tagged “relationships”

What's going on in our lives now? Most of us our lost somewhere. Some keep on finding for themselves in wrong things,places, and people. Then we blame them why we end up like this. But who really is to blame? We are to blame. Ourselves. We can't keep on blaming others for what happened and what's happening to us. People influences us in every way. We are interdependent, right? But we can't blame them. Why? We are the decider of our own actions. We can say that they told us to do this and that. BUT it is us who really decides what to do and how to do it. It is us who respond in that way.

We ask God why this and that. We became angry at God because things didn't end up the way we want it. The way we planned it. Have we asked ourselves why we did that?Why we respond that way? Have you asked God what is the lesson behind all these problems?

I was not able to post blogs last month because it a hell month for students like me. There are a lot of deadlines to meet. A lot of requirements to pass. A lot of books to read. A lot of time to spend studying for quizzes and recitations. There are a lot of thing to do. It's like pressure and stress is eating me up. But the good thing there is I still managed to get through that month. God gave me enough strength, wisdom and knowledge to get through all the things I need to do. He did a lot of things. He blessed us a lot. He helped us in our documentary. He helped us pass courses(subjects).

We are so busy in school because we are all cramming. Almost the whole month all we did was discussion, lectures, recitations,seat works and home works. Then this last two weeks of classes came the storm of quizzes and  advance finals. It's hard to study for a quiz that you discussed for about 2-3 weeks ago you know. But it's kinda cool. Only a few of us were grumbling because of what's going on. And  I was kinda I-don't-know-what-will-happen-but -I'll-be-okay and why-is-it-I'm-not-worrying. I;m not really like that. When times get tough and the schedule is tighter that I can hardly breath and I need to time everything I do, I grumble and say and do a lot of stupid things.

This semester is so weird and fun at the same time. For a short time a lot of things happened. My personal life was heavily stormed by something. My academics is a mess(kinda). But my social life, ahahaha! it's the best! I still managed to spend a lot of time with my friends.

Yey! The first semester of our second year in college is officially over. We had finals for almost three weeks because some of our professors gave us an advance exam. Well, it benefited us. We just studied for four courses(subjects) instead of nine for the finals week. And we took the exams for the four courses in just two days. Now we can rest and do what we want to do for about three weeks.

The jam pack month is now over. The stressful and tiring month is now over. We can now rest as much as we want. Sleep all day. Hang out somewhere. Sleep so late at night or even sleep around 4am. There are no more quizzes, recitations, seat works, home works. We can text as much as we want. We can stay on the phone for long hours. Surf the internet until our eyes couldn't handle it. Read books that we like. Have sleepovers just to hangout all night and have movie marathons.

Since the semester's break has officially started, we are now going to prepare for the kick off party!!!! Whoooh! I'm not supposed to go but me and my other block mates are going to play songs in the party. I forgot the theme. But it's because of the theme. Every batch must have representatives to perform. It could be bands, solo or duet. For our block, we are a band. Yeah! Hahaha! I missed playing the guitar. I missed playing the bass guitar. I missed going to a studio to practice or just even sitting in my friend's band to listen and watch them play.

I think this break is going to be interesting and so fun!

We finished our D12 earlier for us to be able to relax for a while before soulstop. We were able to go to soulstop before 7pm. DJ, Junnel and I were asked to prompt because there were no prompters. It was so fun. Then, During the message Sammie testified. During breakout, Nikki and I were in the dgroup table. Mom Li and Bing left earlier.

I was so happy nd excited that time because we were all serving God, though in different ways. It's so cool! All of us were busy in our ministries. Weeeh!!

It's so cool!

Sol and I are so close. So close that we are always together until now. It's like we've known each other for years. We are classmates in our NSTP and PE. We almost never part. Hahaha. What's more fun to that is that we are now a trio. Ian is also close to us. The three of us are always together. We eat lunch and snacks together. We spend our breaks together. We really are always together.

So how did it started?

During our first year(1st sem), we are in groups. The three of us are in one group along with our other block mates. But eventually, we splitted up in much smaller groups. But we still manage to bond with our other block mates. Thanks our class projects. We got along much better and closer during the second semester. We became much closer during the preparation days for Sol's debut. Ian and I sang in her debut. Hahahaha...

Now that we our in our second year of college, we are much much closer. As in so close. Sol and I are partners in crime even before, now we are a trio. Sol is the first exec asst of our ate Cathy. Then ate Cathy asked me if I can also be her exec asst because she needs two. And just a while ago, ate Cathy also asked Ian so that we are always together and he won't be left out. haha!(Ian, sabit!)

I'm now excited for our educational tour tomorrow. It will be fun for sure. 

Thursday---last day of the prelim exam.Yey!

I'm so down last Thursday as in down. So I texted my d12 regarding how I feel.They all prayed for me and Nikki and I hanged out after our exams. We waited for each other at the AMV entrance. And after few minuteas JC joined us, then we saw Vannessa.Wow! So we decided to have lunch at McDonald's.We waited for Patch there.It's kinda cute scene.I miss them all.As in. It had been a long long time since I hanged out with them. So after we ate, laughed and updated each other, we went to med pav for the Bible Study. Wow! It's the first time that I was able to attend out Thursday Bible Studies. I wasn't able to attend the previous Bible Studies because of my schedule. I have classes.Argh!

Bible Study...
JC, Nikki, Ryan, Sam, Ming, Patch and I were the ones in the Bible study. It was about discipleship. Fortunately, I am using the Purpose-Driven Life for my devotions so it helped me a lot. Bible Studies are really helpful. There I also met Ming. Wow! Cool! I gained a new friend. After the Bible Study, Kuya Delbert and Ate Moha arrived. They will attend the second session of the Bible study.

UP Village escapade...
I told Nikki that I want to go to UP for I haven't been there and I don't want to go home yet. So she accompanied me. But, but, but...We ended up in Bing's apartment in UP village. It was my first time to go there. haha! We talked I think for three to fourhours. We were just there talking and laughing and eating. hahahaaaay! we talked about our kilig moments, lovelives, school, ministries and God. I'm so happy. Bing showed us some pictures of Alabang Jzoners. So talk, laugh, eat, talk, laugh, eat.
What did we eat???We ate oreos. We ate oreos like it's cereal. We put the oreos in a cup of milk. It's so delicious. Try it! What else?Hmmm. We also ate kornets.Haha! and oroes again. Aaaahhh. I want to go to Bing's apartment again.
Around 8pm we went outside to eat. Hahaha! It's like I just eat and eat that day.phew! Luckily I don't get fat by eating a lot of food. Anyway, we ate at Combi. Nikki and I ate fried cookies with ice cream. aaaaw. I'll be back my dear fried cookies. Bing ate a rice meal for her dinner.

Why did I went home late???
I arrived at our house around 9:30pm. It's so late to be home during an exam week. I don't want to go home so depressed, sad and everything. I don't want to pour out my negative feeling to my brothers. I don't want to hurt them nor say bad things to them. I don't want to go home with a bad feeling. It sucks! I want to be encouraged by my friends. And, fortunately, they did. I went home feeling better. I'm so happy. And since I ate a lot, I'm really happy.

Last semester, I was so into the song Over You by Daughtry. It's so cool and everything. But it doesn't suit my love life. It has been a year then  that i was still not over by this certain guy. I was  singing Over You almost everyday but I'm not yet over him.

There was a time when I visited my high school, he was there and we talked for a while and asked me if we can go home together. So I said yes. We talked. But we didn't have the chance to talk about what happened. I'm not really hurting that much that time. But I can't deny that I still do like him so much...

Last June (if I'm right), I saw him here in my school. He is also studying here. When I saw him, I'm so bothered. I just realized that I'm not yet completely healed. And I don't want any distractions back then.It's so hard on my part. And we don't have any closure or anything.

We are still friends. But now I can say that we really are friends. And I'm so over him. I'm over the pain. Finally. But he's still one of my crushes.hahaha...

I can now really sing Over You...

There are times that I feel alone. At those times I need someone to talk to that would really listen to me. I'm surrounded by people who loves me but doesn't seem to care about what I feel. When I am to tell what I feel about something or even say that I'm having problems with something, they don't listen. They talk and talk. And sometimes, we end up arguing. So what I do is I keep everything everything to myself. As I keep everything to myself, I long for comfort. Comfort that no one can give me. I just found myself clinging on to God. I tell Him what I feel. And He's just there to listen. He listens to me that neither my parents nor my best friends had ever listened to me. It made me feel better, better than ever. Why do I always forget to seek Him first? Why do I come to Him as my last resort? I wouldn't have done regretful things if only I seek Him first. I wouldn't have felt that miserable, lonely, alone,unloved. If I just knew even before how it feels to be comforted by Him.

     It sucks!There are times that I super hate my youngest brother.Why? Becuase of his inferiority complex,stubborness and laziness. It's the first time that I hated someone for a while because of his/her inferiority complex.It's irritatin. It makes me stumble. He is one of my stumbling blocks. Does he really need to let us know and feel that he has inferiority complex?!I know that he's acting like that not just because of inferiority complex. He is just making an excuse for a lot of things. The truth is he is so stubborn and lazy. And i find it difficult to get along with people who are such.

     Now, I find it difficult to help him overcome his inferiority complex. He makes me stumble. He makes me commit sin. And it hurts, knowing that whenever I commit sin, I am hurting God, And that whatever I do to my fellowmen, i also do it to God. If I will hit mi brother, also hit God. Ouch! Can't imagine.

     God wants me to be honest with Him, especially when it comes to my feeling. So, I ended up telling God what exectly I feel. I told Him that I'm super disappointed, frustrated and angry with my youngest brother. It is difficult. and I need His help.

     I don't know what will happen to us this following weeks. I don't know if we'll be okay. I don't know what to do with him. I'll just leave it all to God.